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Friday, September 30, 2011

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam's Speech: A Must Read

I have three visions for India. In 3000 years of our history people from all over the world have come and invaded us, captured our lands, conquered our minds. From Alexander onwards. The Greeks, the Turks, the Moguls, the Portuguese, the British, the French, the Dutch, all of them came and looted us, took over what was ours. Yet we have not done this to any other nation. We have not conquered anyone. We have not grabbed their land, their culture, their history and tried to enforce our way of life on them. Why? Because we respect the freedom of others. That is why my first vision is that of FREEDOM. I believe that India got its first vision of this in 1857, when we started the war of independence. It is this freedom that we must protect and nurture and build on. If we are not free, no one will respect us.

My second vision for India is DEVELOPMENT. For fifty years we have been a developing nation. It is time we see ourselves as a developed nation. We are among top 5 nations of the world in terms of GDP. We have 10 percent growth rate in most areas. Our poverty levels are falling. Our achievements are being globally recognized today. Yet we lack the self-confidence to see ourselves as a developed nation, self-reliant and self-assured. Isn't this incorrect?
I have a THIRD vision. India must stand up to the world. Because I believe that unless India stands up to the world, no one will respect us. Only strength respects strength. We must be strong not only as a military power but also as an economic power. Both must go hand-in-hand. My good fortune was to have worked with three great minds. Dr. Vikram Sarabhai of the Dept. of space, Professor Satish Dhawan, who succeeded him and Dr. Brahm Prakash, father of nuclear material. I was lucky to have worked with all three of them closely and consider this the great opportunity of my life.

I see four milestones in my career: 
             ONE: Twenty years I spent in ISRO. I was given the opportunity to be the project director for India's first satellite launch vehicle, SLV3. The one that launched Rohini. These years played a very important role in my life of Scientist.

          TWO: After my ISRO years, I joined DRDO and got a chance to be the part of India's missile program. It was my second bliss when Agni met its mission requirements in 1994.

    THREE: The Dept. of Atomic Energy and DRDO had this tremendous partnership in the recent nuclear tests, on May 11 and 13. This was the third bliss. The joy of participating with my team in these nuclear tests and proving to the world that India can make it, that we are no longer a developing nation but one of them. It made me feel very proud as an Indian. The fact that we have now developed for Agni a re-entry structure, for which we have developed this new material. A Very light material called carbon-carbon.

      FOUR: One day an orthopedic surgeon from Nizam Institute of Medical Sciences visited my laboratory. He lifted the material and found it so light that he took me to his hospital and showed me his patients. There were these little girls and boys with heavy metallic calipers weighing over three kg. each, dragging their feet around. He said to me: Please remove the pain of my patients. In three weeks, we made these Floor reaction Orthosis 300 gram calipers and took them to the orthopedic centre. The children didn't believe their eyes. From dragging around a three kg. load on their legs, they could now move around! Their parents had tears in their eyes. That was my fourth bliss!

Why is the media here so negative? Why are we in India so embarrassed to recognize our own strengths, our achievements? We are such a great nation. We have so many amazing success stories but we refuse to acknowledge them. Why? We are the first in milk production. We are number one in Remote sensing satellites. We are the second largest producer of wheat. We are the second largest producer of rice. Look at Dr. Sudarshan, he has transferred the tribal village into a self-sustaining, self-driving unit. There are millions of such achievements but our media is only obsessed in the bad news and failures and disasters.

I was in Tel Aviv once and I was reading the Israeli newspaper. It was the day after a lot of attacks and bombardments and deaths had taken place. The Hamas had struck. But the front page of the newspaper had the picture of a Jewish gentleman who in five years had transformed his desert land into an orchid and a granary. It was this inspiring picture that everyone woke up to. The gory details of killings, bombardments, deaths, were inside in the newspaper, buried among other news. In India we only read about death, sickness, terrorism, crime. Why are we so NEGATIVE? Another question: Why are we, as a nation so obsessed with foreign things? We want foreign TVs, we want foreign shirts. We want foreign technology. Why this obsession with everything imported. Do we not realize that self-respect comes with self-reliance?

I was in Hyderabad giving this lecture, when a 14 year old girl asked me for my autograph. I asked her what her goal in life is: She replied: I want to live in a developed India. For her, you and I will have to build this developed India. You must proclaim. India is not an under-developed nation; it is a highly developed nation.

Allow me to come back with vengeance. Got 10 minutes for your country?
YOU say that our government is inefficient. YOU say that our laws are too old. YOU say that the municipality does not pick up the garbage. YOU say that the phones don't work, the railways are a joke, the airline is the worst in the world, mails never reach their destination. YOU say that our country has been fed to the dogs and is the absolute pits. YOU say, say and say.

What do YOU do about it? Take a person on his way to Singapore. Give him a name - YOURS. Give him a face - YOURS. YOU walk out of the airport and you are at your International best. In Singapore you don't throw cigarette butts on the roads or eat in the stores. YOU are as proud of their Underground Links as they are. You pay $5 (approx. Rs. 60) to drive through Orchard Road (equivalent of Mahim Causeway or Pedder Road) between 5 PM and 8 PM.

YOU comeback to the parking lot to punch your parking ticket if you have over stayed in a restaurant or a shopping mall irrespective of your status identity. In Singapore you don't say anything, DO YOU? YOU wouldn't dare to eat in public during Ramadan, in Dubai. YOU would not dare to go out without your head covered in Jeddah. YOU would not dare to buy an employee of the telephone exchange in London at 10 pounds (Rs. 650) a month to, "see to it that my STD and ISD calls are billed to someone else." YOU would not dare to speed beyond 55 mph (88 kph) in Washington and then tell the traffic cop, "Jaanta hai sala main kaun hoon (Do you know who I am?). I am so and so's son. Take your two bucks and get lost." 

YOU wouldn't chuck an empty coconut shell anywhere other than the garbage pail on the beaches in Australia and New Zealand. Why don't YOU spit Paan on the streets of Tokyo? Why don't YOU use examination jockeys or buy fake certificates in Boston? We are still talking of the same YOU. YOU who can respect and conform to a foreign system in other countries but cannot in your own. You who will throw papers and cigarettes on the road the moment you touch Indian ground. 

If you can be an involved and appreciative citizen in an alien country why cannot you be the same here in India. Once in an interview, the famous Ex-municipal commissioner of Bombay Mr.Tinaikar had a point to make. "Rich people's dogs are walked on the streets to leave their affluent droppings all over the place," he said. "And then the same people turn around to criticize and blame the authorities for inefficiency and dirty pavements. What do they expect the officers to do? Go down with a broom every time their dog feels the pressure in his bowels? In America every dog owner has to clean up after his pet has done the job. Same in Japan. Will the Indian citizen do that here?" He's right. 

We go to the polls to choose a government and after that forfeit all responsibility. We sit back wanting to be pampered and expect the government to do everything for us whilst our contribution is totally negative. We expect the government to clean up but we are not going to stop chucking garbage all over the place nor are we going to stop to pick a up a stray piece of paper and throw it in the bin. We expect the railways to provide clean bathrooms but we are not going to learn the proper use of bathrooms. We want Indian Airlines and Air India to provide the best of food and toiletries but we are not going to stop pilfering at the least opportunity. 

This applies even to the staff who is known not to pass on the service to the public. When it comes to burning social issues like those related to women, dowry, girl child and others, we make loud drawing room protestations and continue to do the reverse at home. Our excuse? "It's the whole system which has to change, how will it matter if I alone forego my sons' rights to a dowry." So who's going to change the system? What does a system consist of? Very conveniently for us it consists of our neighbors, other households, other cities, other communities and the government. But definitely not me and YOU.

 When it comes to us actually making a positive contribution to the system we lock ourselves along with our families into a safe cocoon and look into the distance at countries far away and wait for a Mr. Clean to come along & work miracles for us with a majestic sweep of his hand. Or we leave the country and run away. Like lazy cowards hounded by our fears we run to America to bask in their glory and praise their system. When New York becomes insecure we run to England. When England experiences unemployment, we take the next flight out to the Gulf. When the Gulf is war struck, we demand to be rescued and brought home by the Indian government. Everybody is out to abuse and rape the country. Nobody thinks of feeding the system. Our conscience is mortgaged to money.

Dear Indians, The article is highly thought inductive, calls for a great deal of introspection and pricks one's conscience too....I am echoing J.F. Kennedy's words to his fellow Americans to relate to Indians.....
Lets do what India needs from us.

E-Mail address of Bharataratna Dr. A.P.J Abdul Kalam is

Above is the article from APJ Abdul Kalam. Now its time to think.
[Hope this article may open some of your senses. As we Indians have very fragile memory when something has to be done beyond family and personal ease]

Have your ever seen scene like this

1. tunak tunak Diler Mehandi

2. The Amazing Dubstep Robot

Thursday, September 29, 2011

check fake facebook profile pic with Google Reverse image Search

Attention: This workout is not 100% sure shot. You may be trapped somewhere, but it can be helpful in 90% of Case.

This specific blog may be helpful to specific boys and girls: who are these ? you will came to know urself.
Now let's get started::
1. Open the desired facebook profile. Open this profile for example
2. Click on desired facebook profile pic to get it large if it is allowed.
3. Right click on profile pic when you are using chrome with Google Image Search app..
4. Then select the option "Search Google with this image".  See the sample RESULT
5. Now you can search how many people using the same pic as their DP . If you get no result then 99% is the chance that the profile pic is original.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Microsoft’s web server is losing ground: IIS market share back to 1997 levels

This is one of the news some wanna here and some don't. But the truth will be same whether you like it or

Apache has been the most widely used web server on the Internet since the early days of the Web. It still is. The second-most popular web server has been, and still is, Microsoft’s Internet Information Server, IIS. But Microsoft’s web server is now losing ground.
It wasn’t always like this. For quite some time, IIS was gaining ground on Apache, but the tide changed in 2007. Since then Apache has recovered much of its previous dominance, reaching a 65% market share, while the market share for IIS has dwindled below 16%, less than half of what it used to be. That’s a pretty steep drop, bringing the IIS market share back to what it was in 1997, 14 years ago.
This chart from Netcraft tells the story. We added the IIS pointers to make it easier for you to see what we’re talking about:
Web server market share over time
Netcraft has been tracking web server usage for a long time, and releases a new report every month. They’re helpful enough to include a historical chart with every report, showing the ups and downs over the past 15+ years, which is the one we included here above.
When studying this chart, it becomes obvious that things have not been going so well for IIS lately. 
Instead, it’s the open source Apache web server that has thrived, and the lean and fast newcomernginx has been gaining ground as well. Both are open source projects, so you could say that open source is having a field day. This should perhaps not come as a surprise, considering how popular open source software is on the server side (Linux, FreeBSD, OpenBSD, Apache, BIND, etc.).
Another factor to consider is that IIS only runs on Windows servers, which limits its reach. If Windows servers become less popular, so will IIS.
Some of you may argue that IIS usage has grown, and yes, in absolute numbers it has. There are more IIS sites now than in 1997 since there are so many more websites overall today. But in terms of market share, IIS has regressed back to 1997 levels.
It remains to be seen if this is a temporary setback, or if IIS is going to continue to fall behind over the coming years.
Read the original blog from here

Monday, September 26, 2011

How to Install Windows 8 Developer Preview on VirtualBox

Its always recommended that we should install any alpha/beta version of any OS inside a virtual setup to avoid mess with our real hardware and data. So here i gonna tell you how you can install Windows 8 Developer Preview inside a virtual box.  I have this version

Windows Developer Preview with developer tools English, 64-bit (x64) 

so I have to gave it 2Gb of RAM inside my virtual and you can give 2 gb of RAM inside a virtual box if you have got total of 4gb system's RAM. Give it more if you have more of it.
For 32bit preview 1 GB is sufficient . Now I will start a step by step guide to do it..

1. Creating a new Virtual Machine

2. Give Desired name {In version select other}

3. Give as much as you can{2 GB  recommended}

4. Create a new VHD

5. Choose VDI 

6. Choose Dynamic to save disk space

7. Give the disk space minimum of 20 gb 

8. Just click Create

9. Again do the same

10. After creating the virtual machine, click on settings to enable IO APIC . Its under Sytem>motherboard
This is the extended feature of Virtual Box

Now Start the Virtual Box to Continue Installation....................

What we Indians Need to Learn

1. This video shows Indians vs German . But if you replace Germany with any other country the story will be same.. We need to learn some basics of Civic sense, how to behave in society. I feel shame when I know that we are OLDEST civilization but still we don't have any Etiquette.
Now I share some important Etiquette that we Indians usually miss{even in city like Delhi}..

  1.   Spitting on roads, streets, corners of stairs...
  2.   Not following traffic rules in Night{No one follows}
  3.   Pedestrians don't bother traffic light{Even cross road in green Light}
  4.   Not maintaining queue.{if ever been to mehendipur balaji in Rajasthan you can see yourself.
 If we indians can't maintain queue in a temple what do you expect from them(us)}
This video is just a mirror to us
List to be continue...
comment for more suggestions we need to learn

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Turning off LCD monitor in Ubuntu

I found this trick from Softpedia. And I found its very cool, So just wanna Share...
Here it starts......

Step 1 - Install the requirements

First of all, we need to install a Python library, so just click the link below and let your package manager install the required package. After installation, close the package manager and proceed to the next step.

Install python-xlib

Step 2 - Make the script

Now that you've installed the required library (see above), all you need to do is to right click on your desktop and select the "Create New Document -> Empty Document" option.

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Rename the file to Now, open it with a double click, copy the code below and paste it in.


import time
import subprocess
from Xlib import X
from Xlib.display import Display

display = Display(':0')
root = display.screen().root
        X.ButtonPressMask | X.ButtonReleaseMask | X.PointerMotionMask,
        X.GrabModeAsync, X.GrabModeAsync, 0, 0, X.CurrentTime)
        X.GrabModeAsync, X.GrabModeAsync, X.CurrentTime)'xset dpms force off'.split())
p = subprocess.Popen('gnome-screensaver-command -i'.split())

while True:
    print display.next_event()

Save the file!

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Right click on the file and choose "Properties".

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Go to the "Permissions" tab and check the "Allow executing file as program" option.

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Editor's note: Place the file somewhere on your home folder, but remember the path for the next step.

Step 3 - Make the shortcut

Click the Ubuntu logo to open the Unity Dash and search "keyboard" (without quotes). Click the "Keyboard" icon and the Keyboard app will open.

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Go to the "Shortcuts" tab, select "Custom Shortcuts" option from the list and click the + button to add a new shortcut. In the "Name:" field write something like "Monitor Off Script" and in the command field write the path to the script, including the name of the script (e.g. /home/softpedia/ Click the "Apply" button when you're done.

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To assign a keyboard shortcut, click the "Disabled" entry on the newly created shortcut line and press the desired key on your keyboard, when it says "New shortcut".

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We've assigned F10 as the shortcut key for our monitor off script.

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That's it! Close the Keyboard app and press the selected shortcut key to test the script. Is your monitor off now? Turn it back on with the Esc key or with a mouse click.

If you encounter issues with the tutorial, do not hesitate to drop a comment below. Have fun using Linux!

funny Mistakes in Movies


Inspirational / motivational sms/msg

1. "Do good to every one widout expecting much..."? As an old proverb says "Some fragrances always cling to the hand which distributes roses..":)

2. "Fear is the main reason for every failure &
Confidence is the main reason for all success!"
So be confident,
Success will come to ur hands...

3. No one will make up a lock without a key.Similarly, God won't give problems without solutions.So defeat your problems with great confidence.

4. POSITVE pictures cm out from NEGATiVS devloped in dark room,

so whenever u find ur life in dark,

understnd tht GOD is wrking on beautiful pics of ur life.

5. Meaning of
P_A_K_I_S_T_A_N -

P: Pyar

A: Aman

K: Khushhaali

I: Insaaf

S: Shanti

T: Tarakki

A: Ahinsa

Forward to all INDIANS...!!

6. Never say I failed 1000 times,
Say That i discoverd 1000 ways that cn cause failure


Moral- fail ho Jana, par Galti mat Manna.

7. Time and smile are the two crucial things in our life.
Sometimes time makes us to forget smile
and sometimes someone's smile makes us to forget time.

1)Ability can never remain hidden.
2)No injury is deeper than insult.
3)The birth of tension is the death of talent

9. Nice Lines By ChetAn BhAgAt:-
Work hArd, bt mAke tym 4 ur luv,fAmily & frnds.
Nobody remembers Powerpoint presentations on ur dying dAy...!!!:)

10. One day Dreams asked Life, "When will we come true?"
Life smiled and replied,
"Never..Because the day all of U come true,
"I'll loose meaning."

11. 3 Tips to lead a 'Safe Life' :
Dnt mak Promises wen U r in JOY..

Dnt Reply wen U r SAD..

Dnt tak Decision wen U r Angry..

"THINK twice,Act WISE.."

12. Being happy doesnt mean that everything is perfect.
It means that u have decided to look beyond the imperfection.:-)

13. D Inevitable truth of life: "Evry1 in ur lif is goin to hurt u sooner or later" U jst Hav 2 realise wat is worth? The 'PAIN' or The 'PERSON'..

14. Nice Lines written outside open heart surgery unit :

"Jo Dil khol lete apna agar yaaro ke saath,.
to aaj kholna na padta
Auzaaron ke saath..."

15. Nvr blame a day in ur lyf coz Gud days give happines, Bad days give experience, Worst days give u a lesson & Best day gives u memories.! So enjoy everyday.

16. Argumnts r bad bt discussions r good.
Argumnts r to find "Who is Right?"
& Discussions r 2 find "What is Right?"

17. Imp quote 4 life: Always try to chang 4 d person who will Appreciate D chang in U..
N nt 4 d persn who vl nt even realize tht U r chngng 4 him or her!!

Attitude at its Best;-):

Log mere baare me kya sochte hai

Agar ye bhi mai sochu,

Toh phir Log kya Sochenge...!!! :-D

19. A cute little
sweet ans.

Teacher:If u tell me whre is GOD?
I'll reward u 100 rupees.
Child:But I'll give u millions if u tell me where HE is not.:-)

20. Dont waste ur affection to a wrong 1 who is nt responding,but dont miss to keep ur affection to the right 1 who respects it

21. KhuShi_Ne Wada Kiya
"I Will Come Aftr

Ke Calender Me Dekha To

Jeene Ke Din Hi Char The,
So_Enjoy Every Moment Of Life."

22. Everyone will nt get everything in life.. Its the way of life.. So dont try to get wht is nt urs.. But do not dare to lose what is already "urs"..!

23. Life is the art of drawing without an eraser
,So be careful while taking any small decisions about valuable pages of life

24. U cannot hurt someone who feels nothing Special for U And U cannot b hurted by anyone unless that person is someone Special to u. Feel the difference...

25. The disease of tryin to pls evry1 will eat u up.It is btr to earn a bad name & live a gud lyf thn to earn a gud name and live a bad lyf.

26. My favourite quote:
If u find someone is nt comfortable with u,
Just start coming out of their Life before they start Ditching u..:)

27.  Wen dere is a confusion btw ur heart & mind..dnt listen 2 ur mind becoz ur mind knws evrythin bt ur heart knws only u.....:-)

28. "The greatest advantage of speaking truth is that you don't have to remember what you said".

29. If U can't find d right words 4 a certain situation, just give tht person a hug. Words have d potential 2 confuse, but hugs never lie....:-)

30.  German soldier: "Sir, we are surrounded by enemies on all sides"

Hitler: "Excellent, We can attack in any direction!"

"Attitude decides life."..

31. If U cry on seeing the question paper, it is an insult..!
If ur teacher cries on seeing ur answr paper,
it is ur achievement.!;-)
so wat do u want?

32. Time is like a river. U caN't touch the same water twice bcz the flow that has passed will Nevr come agaiN. So, be happy iN evry momeNt iN ur Life ..

33. It is always beter 2 b frank in lyf dan being falsely nice
bcoz frankness may creat sum true enimies bt fake niceness may lead 2 untrue frnds...

34. Everyday is special,
if u THINK so...

Every moment is memorable,
if u FEEL so...

Everyone is unique,
if u SEE so...

Life is Beautiful,
if u LIVE so...

35. 1 Aadmi Ne Zoo Mein 3 Boli Bolne Wala Tota Dekha, Jo English, Hindi Aur Haryanvi Bolta Tha.
Aadmi Ne 3 Zubane Test Karne Ke Liye Pucha:- Who Are U ?
Tot1 aadmi apne bete k liye ROBOT laya,jo jhuth bolne par thapar marta tha
Beta-papa aj mai skul nai jaunga mere pet me drd hai.
Bap:dekha tune jhua:- I Am Parrot
Aadmi:- Tum Kaun Ho
Tota:- Main Tota Hoon
Aadmi:- Tu Kon Se ?
Tota:- Teri Maa Ka Khasam Su Saale, Ek Bar Me Tanne Samajh Koni Aave K ?;}

36. "If U can't fly,
If U can't run,
If U can't walk,
But whatever U do,
-Martin Luther King.


If u tell me where is GOD?
I'll reward u 1000 rupees.

I'll giv u millions if u tell me where he z not.

38. An imp lesson abt lyf: There is no 1 busy in this world, Its always about Priorities, U will always find tym for d person u feel is important.

39. "Ever green quote told by Jerry in cartoon"

"A Person Who Irritates u Always Is the one Who Loves u Very Much But Fails to Express..!

40. LIFE may bring failures,
& lots of pain..

Wat matters Is not dat how tragically v suffer;


hw miraculously v LIVE through it...

41. Its easy tO cOnvince One whO is in anger but its nOt easy tO cOmprOmise One whO is disappOinted-
Nevr disappOint a persOn whO cares fOr yOu!

42."Poverty of Life..

Poor men Begs Outside the Temple,
Where as rich men Begs Inside the Temple.

Real Truth of Life..!

43. "In the hand of life its not important to hold all the good relation
But its more important how good U behave wid the relation which U hold...

44. "Don't be upset if people preferred another one thAn you..

It's hard to convince the monkey that strawberries are sweeter than bananas":-)

45. Never Hate People
Who Are Jealous Of You,
Instead Love Them..
They Are The Ones
Who Think
u r Better Than Them!

"Keep urself busy with something or the other..
Because a busy person never has time to be unhappy!"

Love & Cigarrete
are Equal..
both create happiness on the LIPS..
but, Pain in the HEART..
Take care.

48. It Is Not That
People Stop Smiling When They Grow OLD..
Fact Is,
People Look OLD When They Stop Smiling
Donate A few Smile Everyday & Be Young..

When any1 lies to u,its nt his fault!
Actualy its urs..
B'coz u dint give him d propr space to tell the truth!!

50. 'Sorry' works when mistake is made..
but sorry does not work when trust is broken..
So in life do mistakes but never break the trust.....

51. Dont keep dreams in ur eyes, they may fall with tears...
...Keep them in heart so that every heartbeat may remind u abt ur dreams..!!

52. 3 Tips to lead a 'Safe Life' :
Dnt mak Promises wen U r in JOY..
Dnt Reply wen U r SAD..
Dnt tak Decision wen U r Angry..
"THINK twice,Act WISE.."


54. Life is not about finding the right person,But creating the right Relationship.Its not how much we care in the beginning,But how much we care till end.


56 . I didn't complete my University : Bill Gates


I Stitched Shoes in childhood : Abraham Lincoln,


I was the one who served in Hotels : OBEROI


I was Conductor : Rajnikanth


I worked at Petrol Pump : Ambani


I Failed in class 10th : Sachin Tendulkar


I was a Drop out n Keyboard Player : A R Rahman


I Slept on a Bench

&borrowed Rs 20 everyday from friend to travel to filmcity : Shahrukh khan


I used to serve Tea to support my Football Training : Lionel Messi


Life isn't about finding yourself :)


Life is about creating yourself \♥/


Normal Formal SMS Jokes Part-3

1. Ram:Itne khilari kyo football ko laat mar rahe hai Shyam:Goal kar ne k liye.Ram:Susra,Ball 2 pahle hi gol hai aur kitna gol karenge

2. After finishing MBBS, Dr. Munna start practice. He checked 1st patient eyes, tongue N ears by torch N finallly said Bole 2 Trch Theek hai

3. Barish hoti hai 2 tum yaad aate ho. Kali ghata chaye 2 yd ate ho, bheegte hain tm yd ate h, Bataoo Meri umbrella Kab wapis kroge?

4. When i call u,1 ring means thinking u,2 rings mns like u, 3 rngs mns missing u,4 rngs mns need u,5 rngs mean.BEHRE HO PHONE UTHAO!

5. Dil tha ameer aur muqadar garib tha,
Mil ke bichdna mera nasib tha.
Chaah kar b kuch na kar sake hum,
Ghar bhi jalta raha aur samandar bhi karib tha...!!

6. The smallest leave application by a jaat boy-
Dear Sir,
Jo thaare bas ki h kar liyo...!!

Main kaal na aaun... :-D

7. When I was in school,someone stole my rough note:-(
Now they call it as
Crazy ppl.........!:-)
No claps plz....

8. "Never Say I Failed 99 Times, Say I Discovered 99 Ways Which Causes Failure!"
- Thomas Edison.

Moral: Besharm Ho Jana But Apni Galti Mat Maan na , gud9ytji.

9. "Always believe in GOD..coz there r some questions that cannot be answerd by Google"..

10. Teacher: Prasang sahit warnan kijiye..
"Munni badnaam hui, Darling tere liye"

Student: Ye pangti bollywood ke prasidh kavi sant shri Chullbul Pandey ji ki rachna 'Dabang' ke "Munni badnaam" se li gayi hai. Is kavita mein kavi mayavi item girl malaika Arora ko sambodhit karte huye pyar mein badnaam hone ki prerna dete hai.Kavi is kavita ke madhyam se, munni se  badnaam athva zandu baam hone ko keh rahe hai, in pangtiyon se humko kavi ke kamine aur chichore hone ka ehsaas hota hai...!

11. School life is like Reliance- karlo duniya muthi me..College life is like airtel- aisi azadi aur kaha..But, married life is like idea-jo badal de aap ki Duniya.

12. Full form of BOYS:

B-Badmashiyon me sab se aage...

O-Owl ki tarah raat me jaage...

Y-Yaarian nibhate jaan lga ke...

S-Sharif sirf maa ke aage..

13. Haryanvi BOY riding a cycle & hits a girl
Girl:KASAAI K BEEJ! Ghanti na mari jati k?
Boy:Re chori baawli dikhe? Poori cycle maar di; ib ghanti alag te maru k.

14. Aankho me Aansu,
Phir bhi hotho pe muskan kyu h..?

Kyu dohri zindgi jeete h hm,
Akhir hr koi preshan kyu h..?

Gulshan h agar safar zindgi ka to phir iski manzil shamshan kyu h..?

Jb judaai hi h pyar ka matlab to phir pyar karne wala hairan kyu h.?

Achchha karm karna h jindgi to burai ka rasta itna aasan kyu h.?
Agr jeena hi h marne k liye to phir zindgi ek vardan kyu h..?

Kabhi na milega se hi lag jata h dil,
Akhir ye dil itna nadan kyu h..?

15. Jhooth Bolna:Baccho k Liye  "PAAP"
Lovers k liye  "ART" Bachelors k Liye"Anivaarya"  Aur Married k liye
Jhoot 1, Roop anek"

16. Techr-Agar ek Diwar Banane me 10k ka kharch ata h to 2 diwar banane me kitna ayega?
Stdnt-100 Crore
Techr-Nalayk kya nam h tere baap ka?
Stdnt-'Suresh Kalmadi'

17. Ye SMS Abhi Apne  Frndz Ko Send Kro, if any 5 come back it means. . . . ..









Tum B velle Tumhare Dost B velle.ok ;-)

18. Gv me a title:

1)Thief of hearts 2)Source of smyl 3)Fun bomb 4)Sensitive 6)Romntic idiot 7)Mr/Ms. Atitude 8)Beutiful soul 9)Romntic wid a twist10)saying eyes
11)cutie pie12)pearl eys 13)Mr/ms show off
14)drama queen/king. 4wrd 2 al ur frnz n knw wich title suits u d mst.
         ..honest reply

19. What Is FACEBOOK?
Its A Place Where Boy Posts Joke, Gets No Response..
If Girl Posts D Same Joke, She Gets 150 Likes, 300 Cmnts & 60 friend Request..

20. Wo kon c cheez h jo fridge me rkhne k bad b garm rhti h?
Ni pata?


Garam Masala.

" kasam se bachapan se Genius hu pr kbi ghamand ni kiya".

21. Pick 3 words 4 me
...... +......  +......=
Tension, Smile, Sweet, Smart, Style, Cute,Romantic, Love, Attitude, Genius, Ego, Joy, Anger, .!!

22. Hr kisi se mohabbat nhi hoti,

Mohabbat ko pana sab ki kismat nhi hoti.

Hum dil rakh aaye unke kadmo me,

ye jante hue ki unki najar zameen pr nhi hoti.

23. Definition of gay...

Another useless n egoistic effort by men 2 prove they can do evrythng widout women!!;-)

24. kisi ke dil ka dard kisne dekha hai.jisne dekha he sirf chehra dekha hai.dard to tanhaiyon me hota hai.aur tanhaiyon me logo ne hume kaha dekha hai.....

25. Never expect anything in return frm anyone, but the truth is, when we really care for someone, we naturally start expecting a little care frm them.

26. kisi ke dil ka dard kisne dekha hai.jisne dekha he sirf chehra dekha hai.dard to tanhaiyon me hota hai.aur tanhaiyon me logo ne hume kaha dekha hai.....

27. Dosti to sirf ek ittefaq hai
Yeh toh dilon ki mulakat hai
Dosti nahi dekhti yeh din hai ki raat hai,
Isme to sirf wafadari aur jazbat hai

28. Corruption se bhi bada Sawal
aaj sara Desh janana chahata h

Jis Mahila ka 'Salwar Suit'
Baba Ramdev pehan k Bhag rahe the

us mahila ne fir kya pehna?

Perfect Example


Generation Gap:-

Aamir Khan-
"Papa kehte hain,
bada naam karega..."

Imran Khan-
"Daddy mujhse bola,
tu galti hai meri...":P


30. Reflection can't be seen in boiling water.
Same way,
Truth can't be seen in a state of anger.
Analyze before you finalize.,.

31. Being Visible Is nt Always A Requirement for being Close.
It just takes some thoughts and memories to feel the Presence of Some1 vry close to our heart...:-):-)

32. Muskura do zara khuda ke vaste,
shama-e-mahefil mai roshni kam hai,
tum hamara nahi to kya ghum hai,
hum tumhare to hain ye kya kam hai....

33. ap mjhe kitna jante ho. test     fv food           2 my fv color          3 my fv place         4 my fv actor         5 my fv movie      

34. Hanuman ke 7nam

35. Agar dimag h to answer do ABHI 1 ladka 1 ladki ke pass se gujarta hua bola
1   4   3
Ladki boli-
2  5  5   1  9
Ladki ne kya kha..     .Pls reply

36. Usne kaha
mohabbat ki sazaa do mujhe....
maine ja k uski mummy ko bata diya..

khoob piti bicharii...!!!!
;) ;)

gud job na...

37. Main uske hatho main tha tute hue shise ki tarha
badi umed the k bikharne nai dega
bus giraya kuch is trha c ki simatne ki aas he nai rahi

38. Haseeno ne haseen banke gunah Kiya,auro ko 2 theek,humko bhi tabah kiya,pesh kiya gazhlon me jab unki bewafai ko,unhone bhi WAH WAH ka

39. Xtreme Kamina Baccha!

Son: papa Apki Love Marriage hui thi na
Dad:Yes pr tmhe kaise pta?

Son:Q K
Apki shadi aur
meri DOB mein sirf 5 month Ka hi difrnce h...!

40. 1 hand on Clutch
1 on Acelerator
1 Ear listening 2 song
1 on mobile
1 Leg on gear
1 on brake
both Eyes onGirls!

Indian boys r realy

41. 1 hand on Clutch
1 on Acelerator
1 Ear listening 2 song
1 on mobile
1 Leg on gear
1 on brake
both Eyes onGirls!

Indian boys r realy

42. Havin a cold drink on a hot day wid a few frnds is


wat about havin a
hot friend
on a cold nite
after a few drinks...


43. 1buddha 1girl se takraya.
Buddha- sorry
Girl- stupid.
tbhi ek boy girl se takraya
Girl- its ok.  
Buddha- meri sorry ki spelling galat thi kya'.

44. "Every heart has a pain hidden inside
only the way of expression is different,
some hide it in thier eyes,
while some hide it in their smile..."

45. 1 ldka Pi k lauta,,
Dad se bachne k liye badi c book lekar padne lga!!

Dad- Pi k aya h?

Son- Ni To..?

Dad- fr suitcase khol k kya bak-bak kr rha h.

46. AJEEB Lagti He SHAAM Kabhi-kabhi,
ZINDGI Lagti H Bejan Kabhi-kabhi,
SAMJH Aaye to Hame Bhi Batana Ki,
Q Karti H Kisi Ki YADEEN PRESHAN Kabhi-kabhi.

47. Wo b kya din te
'MUMMY' ka pyar
'PAPA' k kndhe,
Na pdhai ki bojh,
Na life k funde,
Na kl ki chinta,
Na future k spne,
Ab kl ki h fikr,
or adhure h spne,
Mud k dekha to, bhut dur h apne,
Mnzilo ko dhudte hm kaha kho gye,
Kyu ab hm itne bade ho gye.

48. Girl- Plz Send Me Some Good Jokes.

BOY- Me Padhai Kar Raha Hu...

Aftr 2 min






Kya hua, Aur bhejo na..? Gud nyt

49. Always Speak Truth wid ur parents! . .. ... .. ... . .
And Run Immediately After Speaking! : )...

50. Negro died & went heaven!
ANGEL-Who r u ?

NEGRO- (2 impres her) im HERO of TITANIC

ANGEL gets confused &asks a friend: abe titanic duba tha ki jala tha?

51. Sir:chalo Newton's law batao...
Santa:sir mujhe pura nai bas last ka aata hai...
Sir:chalo utna hi btao....
Santa:"....and dis is called d Newton's law.....

52. ISHQ mein ye Anjam paya hai,
Hath pair tute,Muh se khoon aya hai,
Hospital pohunche to narso ne ye frmaya hai,
Baharo phool barsao kisi ka mehboob PIT k aya hai

53. Send it to your friends and get lovely ans. Aaj dekte h apko kitne song milte h. Aap mujhe 1 aisa song dedicate karo jo mere naam k first alphabet se start ho......

54. 2 types of suicides
Quick Death : Take a BIG rope, tie it around your neck & hang.

Slow Death : Take SMALL thread, tie it on GIRLs neck & MARRY.

55. Sometimes in life its Difficult to Decide, Wht is Wrong.?

"A LIE dat Draws A SMILE
A TRUTH dat Draws A TEAR."




57. Dil Ke Zakham Zuba Par Laya Ni Karte,
Hum Apni Aankho Se Aansu Bahaya Ni Karte,
Zakham Kitne Hi Gehre Kyu Na Ho,
Hum Apne Honto Se Muskurahat Hataya Ni Karte

58. Baadal Kitne Khush Naseeb Hai,
Door Rehkar Bhi Zameen Par Baraste Hai,
Hum Kitne Bad Naseeb Hai,
Paas Reh Kar Bhi Unse Milne Ko Taraste Hai.

59. Jise chaha wo kisi aur ko chahti h. Jise pana chaha wo kisi aur ko pana chahti h. Aye khuda humse kya gustaki hui h, hum jiske hona chahte h wo kisi aur ki hona chahti h.

60. If u hide,ill seek 4 u.If u r lost,ill search 4 u.If days take u away frmme,ill fight 4 u.But,if u stop sending msgs,ill kill you.

61. Tanha sa tha jab bheed me, socha koi apna ni taqdeer me, ek din achanak wo zindagi me aaye, to aisa laga kuch khas h hatho k laqeer me

62. i miss u
i love u
i cant live without u.

confusedSORRY YAAR

63. Dil Ki Dhadkan Dhadka Gaya Koi,
Meri Zindagi Ko Mehka Gaya Koi,
Mae To Anjaani Raahon Pe Chal Raha Tha,
Achanak Hi Manzil Dikha Gaya Koi.

64. 1 Lamhe Mein Us Ne Zindagi Sawar Di,
1 Lamhe Mein Us Ne Zindagi Ujaad Di,
Kasoor Us Ka Nahi Mera Tha,
Jo Un 2 Lamhon Mein Maine Zindagi Guzaar Di

65. SAPNO ki DUNIYA me hm KHOTE chale gye
HOSH me the fir b MADHOSH hote chale gye
Jane kya BAAT thi us AJNABI CHEHRE me
Na CHAHATE hue b hm USKE HOTE chale gye...!

66. Dil Ko Manana Agar Hota Aasaan,
Na Karta Kisi Ko Aise Pareshan,
Tanha Na Rehta Bhari Mehfil Mein,
Na Hoti Wo Halat Jo Ho Na Bayaan.

67. Beautiful Prayer: God wen I lose hope, help me 2 remembr dat Ur luv is greatr than my disappointmnts & Ur plans 4 my life r better than my dreams.

68. Blackberries are like girls, they only work when you rub one little button.
iPhones are like men, one touch anywhere and they respond...;)

69. I have learned to care people too much,
not because they should care for me..
bcoz i know the pain of being ignored..!!

70. Arz kiya h,
Gam ne bahut sataya
Gum ne bahut sataya
nalayko tum bhi msg karo
maine kya Ambani k bete/beti ko pataya h..

71. Ikhtiyarre tabbasum ki lau ko tarranume numayish se aghaa dena... Jo iska matlab samajh aaye to please mujhe bhi bata dena....

72. Really true fact:-

90% problems of Life are due to Tone of Voice..
It is not so important what we say, but it matters, How we say it..
Aawaaz Neeche.!!!!!

73. Muskura do zara khuda ke vaaste, sama-e-mahefil mein roshni kam hai, tum hamare nahi toh kya gum hai, hum tumhare to hain ye kya kam hai.

74. Nari Ke chakkar me     bhulo na yaari. Laat maregi nari to yaad   aeygi yaari Baat mano hamari tum bhi  ban jao BRAHMCHARI ye jankari JANHIT me jari....

75. Khamosh palko se beh kar jab aansu ate hai, aap kya jane kitne aap yad ate hai, aaj bhi us mod pe khade hain, jaha aapne kaha tha thahero hum abhi aate hain...

76. LovelyFeeling:
Pyar or Barish dono ekse
hote he,
Wo hamesha yadgar hote
he,Sweetest kiss-on the 4head.
Loveliest kiss-on the cheeks!
Most romantic kiss-on the lips!
N the hottest kiss?


On the bike silencer! Try it on kiss day

Frk sirf itna he
Barish saath reh kar tan
bhigati he or
Pyar dur rehkar ankhe.

77. Indian kutto ki 4 buri aadate.
1-Haddi mili chusna shuru.
2- khambha mila mutna shuru.
3-Kutiya mili sunghna shuru.
4-Sms mila padhna shuru.

75. Sweetest kiss-on the 4head.
Loveliest kiss-on the cheeks!
Most romantic kiss-on the lips!
N the hottest kiss?


On the bike silencer! Try it on kiss day

76. Jo har shaam aapko ched jaye,jo har raat aapke galon ko chum jaye,jo har subah aapke kano me kuch keh jaye,use

maar do wo machar hai ...

77. Girl:Is dress ka kya price hai?
Shopkeeper;sirf 5 kiss.
Girl: Aur us dress ka?
Shopkeeper:10 kiss.

Girl:Dono dress pack kar do,bill Dadi denge.

78. Mujhe jala dena ya dafna dena. marte samay ek ghut rum pila dena,Mai tajmahal nahi mangta yaro Bas meri kabr par ek girls Hostel khulwa dena.

79. Boy : Bus,Train or Ladkia 1 jaisi hoti hai,1 ati hai 1 jati hai.
Girl : Autoriksha, Taxi or Ladke 1 jaise hote hai,1 ko bulao 4-4 chale ate hai;-)

80. A man cooks DEER & Doesnt tell kids wat it is. He gives a clue:-Its wat ur mom calls me(Dear).!! Son screams:-Koi mat khaana kutta

81. Jani HUM SE PANGA MAT LENA kyoki jin toofano mai logo ke jhopde UD jate hain un toofano main hum apni chaddi sukhate hain.  

82. Next generation child wil sing in school:


83. Pak: Needed 6 runs in 4 Ball.. Pak people: ya allah 1 Chhakka De De.. Allah Replid: "Kutte Pura Pakistan Bhar Diya aur Kitne Bheju"?  Send 2 every Indian..

84. Mohabat ki ye baat yaad aye tujhe,chhoo k na gujre gham ki hawaye tujhe.Mera kya hai,mai khak bhi ban jaun,meri mitti bhi degi duaye tujhe.

85. Lehro ko pyar tha kinaro se...

par uski shadi ho gayi sagar se

kinare ki preet lehro ko khinch laati hai

par badnaam naa ho mohabbat isliye wo laut jati hai.

86. Mayawati came 2 Lalu's house with a Goat.Lalu:Bhaiswa ko kyon layi ho? Maya:Dikhta nahi Goatwa hai? Lalu:Hum goatwa se hi pooch raha hu!.

87.Imagine World Without GIRL'S..

Galiya Sunsan
Collage Viran
Duniya Pareshan
Tanha Insan
Na Jaanu
Na jaan
Har Taraf Bus
Karan's Ka

88. Judge- tune chori karte waqt biwi bacho ke bare me kyu nahi socha? Chor- Socha tha par dukan me sirf men's wear hi the.

89. A hen lays egg on the ind - pak boundary. Both start fighting over the egg. Ind & pak say it's theirs. Finally india says, whoever kiss more women in other country wins the egg. Pak say ok. Indians go to pak kiss 1000 & come back. Pak are excited. They say "our turn", Ind says "keep the egg"

90. Sir:Bachcho kasam khao kabhi sharab,cigret,jua aur ladki ko nahi chuoge.Desh ke liye apni jaan doge. Bachche:Jaan De denge sir,aisi jindgi jikar bhi kya karenge

91. Haseeno ne haseen bankar gunah kiya,
Auro ko to thik hamko bhi tabha kiya,
Pesh kiya jab gazalon me unki bewafai ko, Auro ne to thik unhone bhi WAHWAH kiya....

92. T I T A N I C        _ll__        .
"____________/ Rakhlo, Yeh pyara Sa time taj mehal bhej denge. iss baar haath tang hai.

93. Semi english shayeri- d Janaaza of Mehboob nikla frm d Gali of Mehbooba with lots of Zor-O-shor, d MEHBOOBA JHAKI FROM THE WINDOW & boli"MAR GAYA haram khor..

94. U 9 main mandir kyon jata hu..?
Qki wahi ek jagah hai jaha ek saath-
Milti hai

95. Muslim girl to a Hindu  boy :    " BHAIJAAN ZARA SIDE HONA. "      Boy:  " KYON CONFUSE KRTI H, YA TO BHAI BOL YA FIR JAAN HI BOL."new msg h.

96. A boy got a job in girls hostel. After month warden : y u did nt come 2 take ur salary.
boy : kiya ? Salary bhi milegi ?......:P..:P

97. Agar ashk na hote ankhon me,
to ankhen itni khubsurt na hoti,
Jo gum na diye hote zmane ne,
to khushi ki kimat pta na hoti,
Jo bewafi na ki hoti kisi ne
to wafa ki chahat hi na hoti
Jo tanhai ka ehsas na hota,
to mehfilo me ronak na hoti,
Jo mangne se mil jati har murad,

98. 7 cute things to make us react..
#_touching the fingers of newly born child..
*_speaking with an old friend on sunday evening..
#_waiting 4 a call or msg from lovable ones when v r alone..
*_walking alone in a silent road at night..
*_riding on bike in highways while raining..
#_speaking with a loved one through mobile standing in front of the mirror..
#_Watching the moon by lying on the terrace.. Try to experience these happy moments.:-)

99. son: me school nahin jaounga, . mOm: kyun? . son: job karounga.. ... ... ... . mOm: 2nd class parh kr kya kaam karo ge?> . . sOn: 1st class ki larkion ko tution parhaounga..... ............... ............... ........... Moral : boyz paidaishi kamine hote hai =p =D 100. Darshan Nachankar 2 studnts cheating karne hi wale the ke Teachr agya or pucha: Tum se peche wale larke ne abi kya pucha? . Studnt: Sir is ne pucha Japan ka capital kya hai. . Teachr: Toh tum ne bata dya? . Studnt: Nai Sir... Mene isko danta tha abi to tu ne muje Toka hai mgr ab na “TOKYO” ;) :P :D Students & Friendship Rock..

Normal Formal SMS Jokes Part-2

1. 7 chtai pe 7 sadhu bethe the, 1 aadmi ne sbse bde sadhu se pucha, baba ldkiya line ni deti kya kru, bda sadhu chhote sadhu se, ek chtai or lga bhai k liye...

2. 3 Beautiful Quotes:
1~Deepest feelng is always felt in Silence

2~There is no true Luv widout Jealousy

3~A Lost Thng is always valued d Most..

Chalo, tumse Shaadi karke mujhe ek to Fayda hua.
Koun sa Fayda?

HUSBAND-Mujhe mere Gunaho ki saza jeete-jee hi mil gayi..

4. A
mausam hi aisa hai.

5. "Pyaar hua ikrar hua h,pyaar se phir Q darta h dil..."
Q na dare dil?...

Q ki-A@j kal k pyaar se badhta h sirf mobile or Restaurant ka bill.
So don't love.

6. FATHER:Tmhari mummy ne mera dil tod diya islye m sharab p rha hu..
SON(U.K.G ): MUMMY ne mera scale b tod diya..
"mere liye b ek GLASS lagao papa.

7. Butter Chicken Banane ke liye aapko chahiye
Chicken - 1 KG
Tamatar- 5 piece
Masala - 1 Packet
Namak - Swad Anusar
Pyaz - Aukaat Anusaar..

8. Banta: What's the similarity between Marriage and 11:59pm? Santa: Dono k baad 12-bajte hain aur din badal jate hain.

9. O waqt bda acha c, jdo main nikka bcha c, Goliyan-tofian khanda c, chotiyan nikkran paunda c, Odo sasta bda petrol c, par cycle mere kol c, Na kudiyan da koi zikr c, menu padai di bs fikr c, Na fcbuk te status likhda c, ms-word te paint sikhda c, Jdo yar saare mere nal c, odo waqt ne badli chal c, school chad aaye colg vich, kyuki zindgi da swal c, Hun group ch rehna painda hai, sorry, thank-u kehna painda hai, par fer v yar mere puchde ne, tu kalla-kalla kyu rehnda hai, Main jwab nhe de paunda ha, bs chup-chap reh janda ha, fir hanju poonj ke kehnda ha, tusi saare jao main aaunda ha, Sb puchde wajah dil sakht di, main keha yad aagyi us waqt di, jo waqt bda acha c, jdo main nikka bcha c.....

10. Nice line said by a broken heart.....
Please don't come one more time infront of me! Otherwise once again i'll trust u......

11. Line by true lover:
"Y i always hav tym frm my bsy schedule for that person bt that person dnt hav. My heart says bcz u luv truely bt that person dn't."

12. A Person Wid Pure Heart Carries A Wonderful SMILE Dat Mks Evn His Enemy Feel Himself Guilty 4 Being An Enemy.So Capture D World Wid Smile....

13. Sum people r more dearer than others,
d reason is not d happiness u feel when u meet dem bt it is d emptiness u feel wen they r not around....

14. "Its not your mistake if u cant read the eyes that cheat u"
"Its really your mistake if u cant read the eyes that love u".

15. D beautiful sentence:- "Talk With Someone Who Makes u Happy, But Talk More With Someone Who Can't Be Happy Without you...!!! Feel D Difference....:)

16. Truth of lyf-
"The best thng in life is finding sum1 who knows all ur mistakes & weaknesses n still thinks u're complete n You're special.!"

17. F@bul0us qu0te:
"U r the 1 who can handle ur HEART better Dan any1 else...:-)
So don't give it to sm1 else nd complain tht dey r hurting it...!!!":-/

18. SuMdAy evRythiN wiL mke perfect SENSE.
So 4 now, LaUGh at da coNfuSion, sMile thru D tears & keep remindin uRslf dat EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON.!

19. Bacha maa se : mom ye pregnant kya hota hai?
mom ne gusse se dekha to wo samjha k gusse ko pregnant kehte hain...
2nd day bacha school se aate huye ek padki k upar gir gaya ladki ki maa : chila kar boli ye kya batameezi hai ?
Bacha bola : gira teri beti k upar hu or pregnant tu ho rahi hai:

20. Biwi neend me zorse chillai-Jaldi utho,mere PATI Aa gaye

SANTA utha,khidki se kud gaya,Tang tut gayi

Fir khyal Aaya saIa me hi to uska pati hu

21. A Beautiful GIRL puts her  finger on HOTEL MANAGER'S lips.
MANAGER kisses each finger.
GIRL:Tell Ur BOSS there is no Soap in Ur LATRIN...

22. My number has changed
new no. is


Plz call me,

Agar mera naukar uthaye to 2-4 galiya de dena.

Bada kamina hai,
apne ap ko police batata Hai..

23. Ladka : Meri us jagah hath lagao jaha haddi na ho

Ladki muskrate hue : Chal phir nikaal bahar pakdu

teri Zubaan ko


Mere sab msg gande nahi hote!

24. Wedding is the only day when a boy stand on a stage
& watch other girls dressed beautifully
& think,
"Yeh sab aaj se pehle kahan marr gayi thi..??" ;-)

25. Sachin's statemnt aftr match wid SA
"I was stil only changing my sweaty cloths n taking a shower
n ws shockd 2 c d whole team back in d dressng room showring too"

26. 1 Hathi swiming pooll me gira to sab chitiya bahar nikal gai.
1 chiti hathi k pith pr chad gai, to dusri boli-"DUBA SAALE KO DUBA, LADKIYO KO CHEDTA HAI"......

27. Jidhar dekho ishq k bimar baithe
Hajaro mr gaye lakho taiyar
baithe h
Barbaad hote h sale ladkiyo k

or kehte h hm berojgar baithe h.

scooty pe ghumne gaye...

Achanak RANCHO ud gaya...



Ab Msg Padna Band Kro aur...


29. Tears r more spcl thn smyl bcj smyl cn b gvn 2 anyone bt tears shed only 4 dose whom v truely love.

30. Studnt- Sir sb log HINDI, ENGLISH me bolte h MATHS me kyo nhi bolte?
Tchr- Jyada 3, 5 na kr 9 2 11 ho le Nhi to 4, 5 de dunga to 32 k 32 hilne lagenge.

32. Dard-E-Dil Dekho Kitne Gham Jhele H,
Unko Kya Pata Dil Me Zakhmo Ke Mele H,
Unki Mehfil Ki Khawahish Thi Muje,
Dekho Zindagi Me Aaj Hum Kitne Akele H.

33. Shah Jahan Ne Taj Mahal Ki Har Deewar,Har Meenar,Har Kaleen Ko Dekha,Har Khidki Se Dekha.Aur Bola.Maa Kasam,Bahut Kharcha Ho Gaya

34. Kabhi Kisi Se Pyar Nahi Karna,
Kabhi Kisi Ka Aitabar Nahi Karna,
Jinki Aadat Ho Vaade Bhula Dene Ki,
Unka Kisi Mod Par Intezar Nahi Karna.

35. 1 Sardar ko exam me koi sawal nahi aata tha to sardar ne hr swal ke jawab me llllllllllllllllll lines laga di or likha.
scratch krke answer padh lo..

36. Tees mar khan - Flop film...

Dabang - Hit film...

Moral:Ladki jawan hone se kuch nahi hota, Badnam honi chahiye..;-)

37. Ladki Saath ho to

Ladki Door Ho to


Ladki Door Hi Ho Jaye to

Isliye Ladkio Se Bachke Rehna

37. Kisi Mahapurush ne Kaha h ki-     Ladkiyo ki Aadhi Zindagi Husband Ki Talaash me,        AUR       Baaki Aadhi Husband Ki Talaashi me Gujar jati h.

38. LADKI or SMS me kya Similarity Hai....?
Jab Tak UPER Se NEECHE Tak Pura DEKH Na Lo CHAIN Hi Nahi Aata..

39. Khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye.Mile mujhe, mera ho jaye. Karu SMS ladkion ko naam tra aye. Maar tujhe pade aur kaleja mra thanda ho j

40. Boy:Bus, Train or ladki ek jaise hi hote hai, 1 jati hai to dusri aa jati hai.... Girl:Riksha, Taxi or ladke ek jaise hote hai, 1 bulao to 4 chale aate hai.

41. Ladkiyan ek dusre ko gift deti h  perfume ,ear rings, suits,flowers ,chocolate !!aur ladke? ? ?"Ye le ladki ka no. Bs  Mera nam nhi ana chaiye.

42. 1 ladki sadak pe akeli ja rahi thi piche se 1 ladke ne kaha ghar tak lift chahiye kya?

Grl: Bhag ja sale 3 din se lift le rahi hu abhi tak ghar nhi pahunchi..!

43. Jab Jb hume pyaas lagti hai, Unke aane ki aas lgti hai unki dewangi mein hum ho gaye itne dewane, Ki har ladki ki maa apni saas lgti hi ,

44. Lo ji Ladkiyon ne abhi se Rona Dhona Shuru Kar Diya Hai,

Kehti hain,

Valentine Manaenge to Sirf "Your name" k saath Warna ye Din hi khatam karo...:-(

45. Dil ko tab bahut jhatka Lga-jab Mandir me 1 ladke ko cigrate pite dekha
Ghor kalyug

u cant belive mere to hath se

Daru ki botal hi gir gayi..

46. 1Girl: Muje to Aisa Ladka chahiye Jo Smart. Khubsurat. Decent. Shareef. mast. Nek Ho.2ndGirl :chup kar Kameeni "ur name" Sirf Mera Hai...:-

47. The night is dark,the moon is high,i stop my car,u ask why I come close 2 U,U feel shy,i tell u those 3 words.Oh God Puncture

48. Macchar ne kata, dil me junoon tha.Khujli hui itni, dl be sukoon tha. Pakada 2 chod diya soch kar ki, sale ki ragon me apna hi khoon tha

49. I mix RUM in water and got drunk. I mix WHISKY in water and got drunk again.Now I have decided never to drink water again!!

50. Pls remind me 2 rmnd U 2 send U this reminder that reminds me of reminding U tht U never have 2 rmnd me 2 remember U, I ALWAYS DO!

51. Last nite I lay in bed,looking the stars,the beautiful sky endless horizon.and suddenly I thought.where the hell is my roof,

52. Intlgent ManIntlgent WomanRomance.Intlgent ManStupid WomanPregnancy.Stupid ManIntlgent WomanAffair.Stupid ManStupid WomanMarriage

53. What R the 3 fastest ways of Communication Telephone,Television,Tellawoman.U still want faster.tell her not 2 tell anyone,

54. If ur world is spining Round Round.Round.Ur heart is beating fast,do u think its LOVE na Munna na its called high BP

55. jawani ke din chamkile ho gaye, aur husn ke tewar nukile ho gaye hum izhaar karne me thode dhiile ho g, ar unke haath peele ho ge

56. Arz kya hai:Bahaar aane se pehle fiza aa gayi,ki bahaar aane se pahle fiza aa gayi,aur phool khilne se pahle.bakri kha gayi.

57. Jise dil diya woh dilli gayi, jse pyaar kiya wh Italy gayi. Khudkhushi karne chala, Zalim bijali ko haath lagaya, Bjli hi chali g

58. Doctor says 2 pathan: Appka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai? Pathan: Hoga zaror hoga; 25 saal se amara koon peeta aay..!

59. 1 Cigrte apki zndgi k 5 min kam kr dti h,
or 1 Smile apki zndgi k 10min bda dti h.

Moral: Haste-Haste Cigrate pite rho

To b 5min ka fyda hga

Wht n idea srji

60. Height of "oohh shit..."

A boy throws a luv letter to a gal bt it falls on her brother..............

and her brother agreed

61. A Girl's Poem:

I'm fed up of guys

they all lie,
They break our hearts n make us cry

Loving a guy is such a sin..
Hey check out d guy who jus walkd in.;-)

62. Nowadays God is in Dabang mood...

"Hum tumhari city me aisa climate create karenge
ki confuse ho jaoge...

raincoat pahene ya sweater.."

63. MD was walking in the factory, he noticed a guy leaning against the wall, looking somewhere..
He approched the man & asked him, "How much do you earn??"
The guy was amazed n said, "2000, sir."
MD took out wallet n gave the guy 6000 n told him,
"I pay people here 2 work n not 2 waste time..This is your 3 month's salary n now get out of here NEVER come back..."
He just disappeard.

The MD now looked at other workers & asked, "Who was that guy??"
Workers replied, "He was the pizza delivery guy sir..."
MORAL: ghana chaudhry b na banana chahiye..;-)

64. Earlier-

But Now-



65. Faqir:Bahenji Bhuka Hu,
Khuda K Nam P Khana De Do...

Bahenji:Khana Abi Ni Pka

Faqir: FaceBook Pe BABA 'Pappu' K Nam Se H
Pak Jae
To Wall Pe Update Kar Dena...

66. U need 3 things in ur life:

Love- To make u weak...

Alcohol- To make u feel strong...

FRIENDS- To pick u up when both of d above make u hit d floor...

67. 1 Pinjre mein kuch tote ek maina ko chhed rahe the...

pas me dusre pinjre me ek Tota puja kar raha tha aur
dusra tota Namaz padh raha tha...

Maalik ne socha-
"kitne nek tote hain,
inke pinjre me maina safe rahegi..."

Usne maina ko unke pinjre me daal diya...

Jab maina us pinjre me gayi
to puja karne wala tota Namaz padhne wale tote se bola...

Apni Item aa gyi h..."

68. A naughty quote:
the only loss which gives a sense of achievement is..



69. 3 Kinds of Men
ASIAN-Has Wife & GF
bt Luvs Wife d Most

bUt Luvs GF d Most

ARAB-Has 14 Wives,
9 GFs
& 6 BFs
but Luvs his CAMEL d most:-D

70.  Shaeyri by boyz
Arz kiya hai-

Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se,

Khuda bachaye hume in hasino se,

Lekin in hasino ko kaun bachayega hum KAMINO Se...:-D

71. Maths tells us 3 tragic love stories-

Tangent lines who had one chance to meet and then parted forever...

Parallel lines who were never meant to meet... And

asymptotes who can get closer and closer
but will never be together...

Wat is d differnce between falling from
tall & short buildings.

Frm tall:
Aaaaaaaaaaaa... ;-)Dhappp..:-P

Frm Short:
dhappp... ;-)aaaaaaaaaa:-P

73. Tshirt no - 10 Age 37=3+7=10
height 5.5=5+5=10
WC win date 2/4/2011= 2+4+2+0+1+1=10
World Cup after 28 yrs=2+8=10
Strike rate in WC 91=9+1=10 Its Truly 10DULKAR

74. Ek bar 1dukan pe-
Popat-pen hai pen?
2 min baad..
Popat-pen h pen? DKNDR(gusse me)- NAHI
POPAT thodi der me wapas ata h-pen hai pen?
DUKNDR- Nahi,aur ab waps aaya to hathoda maruga tere sar pe...

popat kuch der me fir wapis aya..

POPAT-hathoda hai ??
Popat-TO Fir Pen hai pen..?

75. Agar Apko Is Baat Ka Afsos Hai

K Apka Intzar Koi Nai Krta

To 1 Kaam Kre

2Ghante Toilet Me Beth Jaye

Koi Na Koi Bahar Apka Intezar Zarur Krega:-);-)

76. Bachelors think dat
Married man r lucky
Married think dt Bachelors r lucky

none is wrong

D point is
Bachelors think at night
Married think at day time...

77. Soon Weddings will be like this.. !!

Priest: Do you agree to change your FACEBOOK status from *single* to

Boy: Yes! I Login.

Girl: Yes! I Login too.

Priest: Congratz.. You are now husband and wife..
You may now POKE the bride..
And don't forget to TAG me in the wedding pics..!! :-):-):-)

78. Boy to god- give me A beautiful girl.....

God- If you are Muslim
then I'll give you Katrina,
if Hindu
if Christian


Whats ur name??

Boy: Abdul Vinod Fernandes...;)


Give him Dolly Bindra...
ssala over smart ban raha h...!!:O

79. Dhritarashtra : Main bahut khush hu PRIYE, tumne mujhe tarah tarah ke 100 PUTRA diye.!

Gandhari : Ye sambhav hi na hota SWAMI,


80. Teacher: Bachon aaj hum ek vachan aur anek vachan sikhenge.

T: Ek aurat ek khidki se jhaank kar dekh rahi hai.

Bachche: Ye ek vachan hua...

Teacher: Bahut si auraten bahut sari khidkiyon se jhaank kar dekh rahi hain.

Bachche: Ye to G.B ROAD hua...]

81. Two best Lines :-
Luv ur Luv so much dat u dont need to ask,
"Wid whom were You?"
Trust ur frnd so much dat u dont hav to saY,
"Dont teL dis to any 1'':-)

82. 1 machhar tufan me tha
raste me 1bada ped mila
usse lipat gaya

jb tufan chala gya
to machar pasina pochte hue bola-agar aaj mai ni hota to ye ped gir hi jata..

83. What is the most popular word that begins with "F" and ends with "K"?      .
Its FacebooK..!;)

The word you thought is the second most popular. .!!;)

84. Chota sa magar bahut important message

"Dil" Me Hona Chahiye,
"Lafzon" Me Nahi..."


"Lafzon" Me Honi Chahiye,
"Dil" Me Nahi.

Teacher ne 1 cote bache se pucha tumhare papa ka nam kya hai ?
Child-abhi nam nhi rakha hai.Pyar se papa papa kehta hu

15Jun:- I get attached with ovary.
17Jun:- I m tissue now.
30Jun:- Mujhe MAA se khana mila.
15Jul:- Maa Papa se boli "wo papa banenge" MOM-DAD r very HAPPY.
15Sep:- Mera DIL JOR-JOR se DHADAK raha hai.
14Oct:- I hv little hands, legs, head n stomach.
13Nov:- Today i ws in a ultrascan. Wow! I m a girl.
14Nov:- oops! My mom n dad killed me..
My only crime was tht i was a girl WHY?
If ur human..
PASS IT ON Save Girl Child.

87.A Baniya having no child , no money, no home and a blind mother, prays to God...
God happy with his prayers, grants him only one wish!
Baniya : I want my Mother to see my Wife putting diamond bangels on my child's hands in our new house...
GOD: DAMN; I Still have alot to learn from these baniyas

88. Bhehar ki gali main paan ki dukan, Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan, Dvds ne khilaya pro ko paan, Khake pn Pro bolo'Shukriya Bhai Jan

89. Meri taref se apko 1 PAPPI Aapki saheli ko 1 PAPPI Saheli ki saheli ko 1 PAPPI.Aaj hi mere DOGI ne 10 PAPPI ko janam diya hai

90. Dil k dard zuba par laate nahi, Hum aankhon se ansu bahate nh, Zakham chahe kitna hi gahre kyo na ho, hm DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi ,

91. Gud looks catch eyes,Gud Personality catches heart,U R blessed w both.FLATTERED.Dont Be,it was sent 2 me,I wanted U 2 read it

92. Tusi bade gr8 ho,rsgule di pl8 ho,ande da oml8 ho,sms krne me bde la8 ho,jlebi di tra str8 ho.Par jo bhi ho,tusi mere fav8 ho

93. This cat,is cat,good cat,way cat,2 cat,keep cat,idiot cat,busy cat,4 cat,20 cat,sec cat.Now read it without the word cat

94. Intlgent ManIntlgent WomanRomance.Intlgent ManStupid WomanPregnancy.Stupid ManIntlgent WomanAffair.Stupid ManStupid WomanMarriage

95. UR network tariff has changed.Call charges R now calculated according 2 brain size.The smaller the cheaper.You can make free calls,

96. The night is dark,the moon is high,i stop my car,u ask why I come close 2 U,U feel shy,i tell u those 3 words.Oh God Puncture

97. Kya bindaas hawa chal rahi hai,bird gana ga rhi hai,cow grass eat rhi hai,shane sms kar rahele hain aur dhakkan sms padh rhle hain!!

98. Every mor ur 1st thing that comes 2 my mind.I wish I cud start day w/ U in my bed.I luv ur feel 2 my lips.U make my day. I love U NESCAFE

99. U r d 1 whos so smart,U r d 1 whos so charming, U r the 1 whose so good looking. And, I'm the 1 who is spreading these rumors

100. A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U.Z 1 who invented alphabets was genius,but he made silly mistake by keeping U I so far